


Stand Back, Stand Ground

by Kameiko



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Always a 63, F/F, Fluff, Genderbending, Humor, Kissing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24889729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kameiko/pseuds/Kameiko
Summary: Oh, Hell no, God. You can go away now.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11
Collections: Rule 63 Exchange 2020





	Stand Back, Stand Ground

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EvilToTheCore13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilToTheCore13/gifts).



Sitting on the crumbled cobblestone wall created by the divine being she hates is Crawly’s favorite current past time. Just how fascinating is this event? Well, she’s watching Adam and Eve fend for themselves against the newly hot desert sun and a vicious creature that she has never seen before in her fallen angel life go after them. Of course she hasn’t seen this beast before. This plane of existence has only been existing for about three…maybe two and half days, or millennia depending on laziness of God’s time frame.

“What are you thinking about, Crawls?” Oh, of course Aziraphale’s comments with her stupid pet nickname is the one that breaks her concentration on wanting those teeth just to sink into Adam’s flesh, so she can drag him to Hell before he can even redeem himself. Her shoulders twitch when she repeats the nickname again. She holds up her hands, demanding for the other to just stop with the torture of cute.

“What?” Aziraphale leans in close, a sly smile is spreading across her lips. She cocks her head to the side, and her pearly teeth are shining brightly. Oh, how the shiny glistening of everything holy that Crawly can’t touch right now, because of the storm clouds that are magically brewing above them. She knows what’s going to happen next, and she is tempted to just turn into a snake and slither away from the kingdom come.

“Crawls? I see that look in your slithering snake eyes. What’s-“ She doesn’t get another word out. Lightning strikes down all around them, and sand is starting to pick up with miniaturized dust tornadoes. Aziraphale swallows the lump in her throat and hops off the wall. If she hides now, then maybe there won’t be a talking to or a loud feminine voice beaming down with anger and weather problems.

Crawly turns into a snake and hides in one of the bushes. Tongue is sticking out at the other, nearly mocking her, because she can hide in this form….but…sighing, she rolls her eyes, and turns back into the body she’s possessing. The bush expands and she waves her long slender fingers to Aziraphale, motioning for the other to come join. If the other is going to get struck by lightning and cause the bush to catch an early prophecy of fire then at least they can be together in whatever realm of chaos they end up in, which is a non-existent one of their brethren. At least Lucifer will have some company. Maybe if they’re well behaved, they can have the weekends free to roam the lake of fire for a proper tan.

“You’re too kind, Crawls.” Aziraphale gets in, and scoots as close she could to her lover. “You think God will find us in here?”

“If God does, then so help me I will strike God with all the venom I can muster in these things if you’re turned into ash.” Crawly whips her hair to the side and glares outside the brush. The sandstorm has picked up, and there’s now weird hard snow falling in front of them. Must be another new weather invention or discovery. God is having too much fun mixing with those scientific chemicals in order to lure them out, but-OW! The bush is getting hammered with all the white.

Aziraphale murmurs, “I think God found us.” Time to face the music. Pouting, Aziraphale goes to leave the bush, but his hand is grabbed. “What are you doing? You didn’t do anything to deserve a rainstorm of hail.”

“So that’s what this cold and hot crap is.” Crawly pulls her back inside. “You wait here, love. I swear to Lucifer if you move from this spot then I will never kiss you again.”

Empty promises. Aziraphale knows that Crawly can’t resist her kissable angelic lips. Smiling, she leans forward and places a gentle one on her lover’s fiendish ones. “Don’t tell me something you can’t keep. I know demons are known for lying and being manipulative, but when I am in the picture you turn back into your nicer self. I like it and all my angel siblings fear it.”

“You’re making me blush, Azie.” Yeah, Crawly’s nickname for her. One she just thought up since death flashed before her eyes, and they didn’t look really pretty today with their black cloak and bony fingers pointing at her.

Another boom, roar, and a scary scream. Yep, God’s mad and the fist pounding an earthquake open in the garden of Eden made everything crumble, dissolving their hiding spot. Crawly instantly stands up, hands on her hips, and is staring at the angry entity right in the face. She’s not afraid! Hair flip to the side to be flipped again, red lips ready to defend Aziraphale, and she’s got the outfit of fire on to match. Taking a deep breath she points her finger at the heated one that’s still throwing around a weather tantrum, “Listen here you holy brat! Don’t you dare blame her for what I’ve done! In fact, I’ve done you a favor for your goodie-two-shoes humans! Gave them the power of free thinking and temptation that won’t deprive them of any drive they go for!”

No one missed that innuendo. Aziraphale rubs the back of her head, doing his best to hide her blush. “Crawly…” No! Crawly continues on defending Aziraphale, and her justifications towards God’s imperfect creations.

“And another thing! You take your hand out of my face! There’s nothing you can do to me besides lock me somewhere I will definitely enjoy!” True, but Aziraphale secretly knows that the torture would be for Crawly to return to Heaven and forcefully serve under the head angel. She shivers at the thought of poor Gabriel going through the torture of listening to Crawly’s sass.

Crawly pulls Aziraphale next to her. “Go away! Shoo! Get out of here! Don’t make me get a rock and throw it at you!”

“That’s not going to do anything…” Aziraphale’s mouth is covered. She’s just trying to help here! She can’t help the humans of Earth knowing the fact that she’ll never see her girlfriend ever again!

A laughter. That’s unexpected. Without another word the storm clouds are gone, and the laughter is echoing all around them. What foreshadow of mockery did they just land themselves into? Ah, who cares? Crawly turns to Aziraphale and takes her face into her hands, going over both cheeks to make sure nothing has been damaged. Hmmm….nope the cheekbones are still adorable as ever. She lets her go and leans into those pouting lips again.

“I wish you wouldn’t anger everything around you. Your attitude towards the universe is going to get you to that place you don’t want to go to.” Aziraphale wraps her arms around Crawly’s neck and leans her head against hers.

“That’s never going to happen. You know I will weasel my way out of everything thrown at me.” She kisses the top of Aziraphale’s head, sealing that promise with multiple kisses, causing the other to giggle uncontrollably.

“That’s a promise you better keep, or I will come up there for you.” Aziraphale closes her eyes to rest, and Crawly secretly promises in her heart that she will do everything she can to protect her from what considers themselves good and definitely evil. After all, if she’s going to spend an eternity on this planet to do unlawful chaotic good madness, then she’s going to do it with the absolute opposite of herself with a bright smile.


End file.
